Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Stop and start.....hope it's not the beginning of a trend

I've sat down to write this update so many times but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm mad. And I don't want to think about it or deal with any of this anymore. Guess what? I need to get over it.  Wouldn't it be nice to crawl under the blankets and totally hide from reality? Yep, can't do that. I have grown kids to love and watch over, a totally rad husband and animals to look after, a great family and a lot of friends. Oh and a job.

Last time we talked, I told you that my tumors were just about gone and that for the most part, I responded well to the chemo along with my alternative treatments that I have been on. Or so we thought.

Fast forward to March when a heavy chest and trouble breathing landed me back in the ER for a few hours. What they found was the early signs of bronchitis, more fluid around my heart (the pericardial effusion they have been monitoring since last June) and as the ER Doctor announced as if I was totally on board  "And just those multiple lesions on your spine" WHAT??!!! Jeff and I looked at each other in shock. Huh? What lesions? Multiple? How many is that? You mean the ones that were literally almost gone in January?? Yep, those would be the ones in question.  We didn't get em. We didn't crush all the tumors and we stopped chemo in November thinking we did.  Shit. Shit. Shit.

April 17th I started treatment again.  Dr. C. said at first I would maybe need 3 or so treatments.  We saw him yesterday and based on the results from my blood work and looking at my cancer markers and other results, I'm back in active treatment. The good news is that there doesn't seem to be new lesions but we're still trying to annihilate the old ones.

This is what my new routine is all about. I knew it would be like this. Living with metastatic cancer is hard work. It's all about being on your toes and catching these things before they get out out of hand.

I am officially in obliteration mode. And I am pissed. Look out.