Time to reflect

Reflection time. 
After having my first round of my 2 monthly Faslodex injections and 2 weeks into my Ibrance I finally almost feel like a human. Anyone know what an Ultra Rapid Metabolizer is? ME. My body eats up and churns out pharmaceuticals uber fast so my body is hyper sensitive to side effects. I bitch about them all the time but I do know that together with the cannabinoid therapy, it seems to be an ok combination. At least the cancer has responded to the chemo so far, which is always the goal. The problem with the chemo is that I get side effects to the enth degree so many times I've had to ask to reduce my dosage as to not completely take away ALL quality of life.  Lying in a bed practically comatose from pain and puking isn't quality of life to me. Here's what my last week has looked like: Vomiting, chivering, extreme pain and swelling in my right thigh and leg from the Faslodex injection, loss of appetite, weight loss, headache , body aches, pain with ANY light touch, omplete and utter memory loss, confusion, lack of motivation, irritability and on and on and on. I was just blessed with a visit from some of my best lifelong friends from back east which was so special and much needed. Love and friendship is so important and having a strong support system when living with an illness is key to survival. After the long and rough fall I've had with the last progression (spread, new cancer) to my peritoneal cavity (which evidently is rare). My mental state hasn't been exactly where it needs to be. I'm allowed to feel like this (I think).  THIS is not the TKO that my family and friends know. The real TKO with the positive attitude and outlook and never giving up Princess Warrior? That's still me. Cancer got a hold of my mind and soul for a minute and it almost took hold. Something bigger and stronger than me sorted me out and I feel like I am emotionally and somewhat physically starting to get back on track. Today I've decided to pull up my bootstraps and get myself back to living and thriving. I can't let the cancer take my soul. Not yet. 
#metastatic #breastcancer #stage4 #stageleft