This isn't much of a post, but rather just a quick update in the form of a horrible email I sent to family and close friends with an update. Jeff and I went to the Doctor yesterday for the results of my MRI last week. It wasn't good news and I am basically loaded with cancer again. I knew this before she opened her mouth actually. I just didn't know how bad it actually is. Please read below for where we are at:
"I so wish that this email had a more positive spin on it, but we're back in the weeds with the cancer. I had been feeling great energy wise, finally had my kidney stents removed and my blood counts looked pretty good, etc. However the inside of my spine and bones have been having an effing party. We found out yesterday that the bone tumors are all back and then some.
"Extensive" "Widespread" "Innumerable"
My Oncologist told me that if she were to do an MRI on every bone she's fairly certain I would have cancer in every bone in my body.
I'm gonna leave it at that because no one should have to listen to the rest.
Bottom line is that Arizona doctors have done everything they can do for me so Jeff and I will be going to Boston for a Dana Farber Cancer Institute appointment. This is all on the heels of our Boston/Brant Rock vacation so we will be in the area a few weeks in July.
We will be staying in Newton and not sure when we will arrive but we will keep you all posted"
Yes, it sucks. Our family is in a complete daze but we'll be ok. I've got one of the best Dana Farber doctors on my side, PERSONALLY working on getting me in with one of THE best in their field. This is still somewhat optimistic news and once I get there we will know if there are any other treatments that my cancer may respond to. If not, we were finally told that without any further treatment I can live between 6-12 months more. I want to live longer, but not if my life will be shit. I get to decide when I'm ready to go and I'm not done here yet!
Boston, we're coming back.
#BostonStrong
Peace and love
Tracy
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Wednesday, June 08, 2016
PJs and Prada
Uncle Jackie* came to visit last week for an impromptu, LA to Phoenix getaway. Uncle Jackie is really our honorary cousin. You know, the one that isn't really a cousin but your parents were best friends before you born so they raised you as if you were related by blood? That's Uncle Jackie.
We spent every single year together whether it was a trip out to California or they'd trek east to Boston since they could fly non rev quite easily back in the 70's and 80's. Every summer or school vacation we'd head to California to visit our Grandparents in Encino and then we'd always head over to Culver City to Jackie's where there would be a week of crazy times with very little adult supervision and lots and lots of innocent kid fun. The old house in Culver City was fairly small with only 2 bedrooms so our parents would sleep in Jackie's bedroom and all of us kids would sleep outside in what we referred to as "The Smelly Green Tent." Uncle Dick had this old, moldy, smelly, green, army like tent that, you guessed it, was the kids "room". Next door lived June and her grandson Eddie was always over and when we came to town, so did Eddie. He was part of the Smelly Green Tent So, while our parents drank martinis and talked or played chess, we'd be tearing it up doing whatever we felt like. At 10 or so, dress up and pretending they were "Jackie of the Jungle and Andy of Africa" was as wild as we really got at that age. We did make up a song called "We all Live in a Smelly Green Tent" sung to the tune of Yellow Submarine.
Our mothers earned their wings as stewardesses in 1956 and 1957 from TWA and remained best friends until the day my mother died in 2009. While my mother only flew for few years before she had to stop in 1963 because my brother was born, "Aunt" Luke went up against the airline (after they wanted her to stop flying) in 1966 when Jackie was born. She won and kept flying for 50+ years in like the #3 seniority spot (or some awesome spot like that) up until American Airlines pretty much forced many of the "lifer" TWA flight attendants to take early retirement when AA bought them out. (here's where I hold my tongue) The airlines have never and will never be the same in this country.
I digress.
Since I was diagnosed almost 3 years ago with my breast cancer recurrence, Uncle Jackie has been taking advantage of our geographical convenience since we moved to the Southwest and has been hopping over for our ritual of luxe Nordy Spa pedis, yummy Scottsdale lunch favorites like Zoe's Kitchen and Sauce (omg you have to have the chicken and pine nut salad!) and sometimes we take a brief spin through The Rack or some other place. On this outing I managed to stay vertical for long enough to go over to Neiman's so I could start checking out my dress size of the month (I have got to stop losing weight!) for a dress for a very special friend's NYE's wedding!
First major fail? Letting Uncle Jackie take me over to Neiman's. Second fail? Walking out with a pair of Prada shoes. Fail #1 and #2 by the way, quickly turned into win/wins let me tell you. ZERO regrets. Special occasions call for special attire and my beautiful friend Beth's wedding is going to be THE most special NYE wedding I have ever attended. Okay, I've never attended a NYE wedding, which is most likely why I am obsessed over this wedding and wearing the perfect dress to wear alongside my handsome hubster.
This outing was all about "soft clothes" as my witty friend April calls them. (or otherwise known as pajamas) My wardrobe these days consists of PJ's, bathing suits and/or beach towels wrapped around me like a dress to soak up the typhoon that my body produces daily from the chemo. I decided that this is just my life now so I just embrace it :)
These are the visits that warm my heart and soul. Pjs and Prada. The perfect visit with Uncle Jackie.
*Honorary cousin Jackie was lovingly called 'Uncle Jackie' by my almost 16 year old nephew who was a bit unsure of gender differentiation and at the time. He wasn't sure of who was an Uncle or an Aunt so it obviously had to stick as the greatest nickname ever
We spent every single year together whether it was a trip out to California or they'd trek east to Boston since they could fly non rev quite easily back in the 70's and 80's. Every summer or school vacation we'd head to California to visit our Grandparents in Encino and then we'd always head over to Culver City to Jackie's where there would be a week of crazy times with very little adult supervision and lots and lots of innocent kid fun. The old house in Culver City was fairly small with only 2 bedrooms so our parents would sleep in Jackie's bedroom and all of us kids would sleep outside in what we referred to as "The Smelly Green Tent." Uncle Dick had this old, moldy, smelly, green, army like tent that, you guessed it, was the kids "room". Next door lived June and her grandson Eddie was always over and when we came to town, so did Eddie. He was part of the Smelly Green Tent So, while our parents drank martinis and talked or played chess, we'd be tearing it up doing whatever we felt like. At 10 or so, dress up and pretending they were "Jackie of the Jungle and Andy of Africa" was as wild as we really got at that age. We did make up a song called "We all Live in a Smelly Green Tent" sung to the tune of Yellow Submarine.
Our mothers earned their wings as stewardesses in 1956 and 1957 from TWA and remained best friends until the day my mother died in 2009. While my mother only flew for few years before she had to stop in 1963 because my brother was born, "Aunt" Luke went up against the airline (after they wanted her to stop flying) in 1966 when Jackie was born. She won and kept flying for 50+ years in like the #3 seniority spot (or some awesome spot like that) up until American Airlines pretty much forced many of the "lifer" TWA flight attendants to take early retirement when AA bought them out. (here's where I hold my tongue) The airlines have never and will never be the same in this country.
I digress.
Since I was diagnosed almost 3 years ago with my breast cancer recurrence, Uncle Jackie has been taking advantage of our geographical convenience since we moved to the Southwest and has been hopping over for our ritual of luxe Nordy Spa pedis, yummy Scottsdale lunch favorites like Zoe's Kitchen and Sauce (omg you have to have the chicken and pine nut salad!) and sometimes we take a brief spin through The Rack or some other place. On this outing I managed to stay vertical for long enough to go over to Neiman's so I could start checking out my dress size of the month (I have got to stop losing weight!) for a dress for a very special friend's NYE's wedding!
First major fail? Letting Uncle Jackie take me over to Neiman's. Second fail? Walking out with a pair of Prada shoes. Fail #1 and #2 by the way, quickly turned into win/wins let me tell you. ZERO regrets. Special occasions call for special attire and my beautiful friend Beth's wedding is going to be THE most special NYE wedding I have ever attended. Okay, I've never attended a NYE wedding, which is most likely why I am obsessed over this wedding and wearing the perfect dress to wear alongside my handsome hubster.
This outing was all about "soft clothes" as my witty friend April calls them. (or otherwise known as pajamas) My wardrobe these days consists of PJ's, bathing suits and/or beach towels wrapped around me like a dress to soak up the typhoon that my body produces daily from the chemo. I decided that this is just my life now so I just embrace it :)
These are the visits that warm my heart and soul. Pjs and Prada. The perfect visit with Uncle Jackie.
*Honorary cousin Jackie was lovingly called 'Uncle Jackie' by my almost 16 year old nephew who was a bit unsure of gender differentiation and at the time. He wasn't sure of who was an Uncle or an Aunt so it obviously had to stick as the greatest nickname ever
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