I did it!!!!
This is what the pin says that I was given by the nurses today when I finished my last of 8 chemo treatments! I got hugs from every oncology nurse in the place when we left. They even hugged Jeff and told him what a fantastic support person he has been for me. They sure got that right. I couldn't have done it without him by my side! He's a gift from god!!

A complete wave of emotion came over me this morning when I walked into the building. Tears instantly welled up in my eyes. I was so excited to have my last treatment, but it was so incredibly emotional. I cried a lot today but I made it. I got through 8 agonizing treatments and all the horrible side effects that go along with it. I feel stronger, and more educated, and I'm ready to help educate anyone that isn't aware of how easy and important it is to get a mammogram. It's the first step in detecting early stage cancer. Breast cancer invades the lives of 1 in 8 women. Think about that the next time you go out for dinner or drinks with a bunch of girlfriends. Look around, one of you may be that 1 in 8 in your group of friends. I am not trying to scare anyone, I am simply trying to say that I never thought I would be the 1 in 8 in my various groups of friends. It stinks. I was diagnosed with early Stage II invasive cancer in both of my breasts. We were trying to get pregnant and instead, I got cancer. I skipped my bi-annual mammogram the year before last because as some of you know, we lost a baby at 19 weeks. That was the same month that I should have had my mammogram. Maybe I had cancer then, who knows. But I do know how lucky I was to have picked up on this when I did. I made it through, and I hope and pray that I am now cancer free. I don't really know. But I will move on with my life and think positively that the chemo kicked it's butt!

Ready to go back to work!

I know it sounds funny to some, but I cannot wait to get back to the office and get back to my regular routine. I love it and miss it. I have been in the travel industry for almost 24 years. I started out when I was 17 years old and I never turned back! I consider myself very lucky that I picked a profession, learned it, stuck with it, and love what I do! I've been working 2 days from home for a while now, but I miss the office. I work with a great bunch of people and I can't wait to get back. I told a co-worker today to get ready, cuz I am coming back with a renewed sense of enthusiasm and I am ready to go!

I am so glad that I was able to take the time I needed to get through this ordeal and be able to concentrate on my health. I was telling someone today how in a strange way I actually enjoyed the time at home. Even though half of each month was in bed and dealing with disgusting side effects, I was able to spend more time with my kids and my other family members which I loved. I actually formed a really neat bond with my youngest niece.

Casey is only 2 years old, and up until my surgery, she really didn't know me. Since then, my sister Stephanie, who lives only 20 minutes away from where we moved in NH, visits regularly with Casey while my nephew Cameron is in school. It's been so cool to see them both so often, but especially Casey because we really got to know each other. This morning she came over and wore one of my hats around the house. She came in with her pink Red Sox hat on and then proceeded to try on a couple of my hats and wear them around. She calls me Auntie now, and she has her ritual of coming in and going straight to the cabinets looking for something she knows she probably can't have at home. Then she grabs her favorite blanket, a prayer shawl that my mother in law gave me, and she drags it around the house. It's been so fun watching her grow and I love to hear all her new words and watching her mannerisms. She is adorable.



I've had a ton of time in the past 5 1/2 months to really think about a lot of things. One thing I know for sure is that I am incredibly lucky to have the life I do. I thank my lucky stars every day!

7 Down, 1 to go!!!

Well, I am getting close to the end of my treatments. It seems so surreal still. This entire thing. I cannot believe that I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I cannot believe that I have had a bilateral mastectomy and have implants where my own, god given flesh and tissue used to be, and I cannot believe that I have spent the last 4 months of my life going through chemotherapy and I cannot believe that my big ole head of hair is gone! It is truly unbelievable. But throughout it all, I have remained positive, as cheery as possible, and try to be as much of a role model for anyone going through what I am. This has changed me as a person, and my objective now, is to help educate women of all ages that Breast Cancer invades the lives of 1 in 7 so we have to be aware of how we can stay ahead of it. I realize that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but in my life, it is every day of every month! Let's all try to help eradicate this disease by doing all we can to help find a cure! Feel free to donate right here on my blog's home page. It's easy. All you have to do is click on the donate button on the charity badge here on the left hand side of my blog!

Well, I go for my Nuelasta shot tomorrow, and then that is when all the bone pain starts setting in. So, there'll be no update while I handle the side effects which are rough. I'll be back as soon as I can!

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend and the snow misses us!!!!

THINK PINK
Tracy

Happy Easter!

We had a great day today, actually, we had a great weekend. My brother Andy, my sis in law Patty and my niece Taylor all spent the weekend. It wasn't planned that way, in fact we were all supposed to spend Easter at their house today. That was until Mother Nature decided to dump a ton of snow on us last week! They live in Maine and had no power for 3 days so they came Friday morning and spent the weekend with us, it was nice to have them here! I loved having the company since I spend so many days alone at home. Every time I turned around my sister in law was cleaning something! And, this morning, she and my brother put together a couple of bookshelves that I had ordered weeks ago for my office. It was great since I don't have the strength to do that kind of thing yet and Jeff absolutely hates assembling things. So, he cooked while they assembled. It was perfect and I finally have a place in my office for all the books in the house! Thanks Andy and Patty :)

I had a pretty strange day on Friday, I felt so tired and lightheaded...probably just the fatigue hitting me from this Taxol. My hands and feet have been getting progressively worse as the days go on. The numbness, itching and tingling in my palms, fingers and feet is really ticking me off. I have to say, it's getting annoying and there is nothing I can do to make it stop!

Today I felt a really sharp pain just jolt from my port through my chest. It made me stop dead in my tracks. It's never done that before. Oddly enough, during the week leading up to my treatment, my port always starts to hurt a little bit, like it's screaming to be used. Well, it can scream all it wants to, this is the 2nd to last time it'll be used! I cannot believe that after Thursday, I will have only 1 treatment left to go. I cannot wait to get this over with and get my port removed and try to move on.

Ok, now I am just rambling.....I could go on and on, but I won't bore you all to tears....I just thought I would add and update since my posts are fewer and far between these days.

I hope everyone enjoyed their day and I hope the Easter Bunny was good to you all!

6 Down, 2 to go!!!

Well, I did it, I managed to get through another treatment. This time I was smarter than the chemo and I actually planned out my pain management strategy and it paid off. I started taking my heavy duty pain pills on Friday morning prior to my nuelasta shot and it's side effects. Then I just stayed in front of the pain all weekend and it actually helped. I was totally drugged the entire time, but whatever it takes! Today is Tuesday and I am just dealing with lingering hip, leg and arm pain along with my new side effect: numbness and tingling in both of my hands. It started today out of nowhere. My palms have been really itchy (I doubt I'll be coming into money) and all of a sudden, they got really numb and they tingle. It is the strangest feeling but it doesn't hurt so I can live with it I think.

So, I can do it, I can make it through my last 2 treatments! Now I know how to handle this awful pain, I am not as scared anymore. I will do it, and I will be done on April 26th!!!