A year later!!!

I cannot believe that it all started just a little over a year ago.

It's amazing to think that this same time last year it was just a day after my surgery and I was scared to death at what I was about to go through. I cannot get over how fast time really goes by. I can say that now.

Now here I am, feeling great, enjoying each and every day. I am so grateful for my family, my friends - I am very lucky.

That's all.

Think Pink!

From the pages of the Salem Observer in New Hampshire - Frankie gets involved with his fellow Future Business Leaders of America group at Pelham High School:

Thinking pink to fight cancer

BY DARRELL HALEN

The sales of pink bracelets and freshly baked cookies during a school fundraiser may not bring in a lot of money, but for Taryn Kayo it’s a way to support the fight against Breast Cancer – a disease that struck her grandmother nine years ago.

“It’s a serious issue for me,” said Taryn, 16, a member of the Future Business Leaders of America chapter at Pelham High School. “I want people to understand it’s a serious thing.”

During lunch periods in the school cafeteria on Tuesday, Oct. 9, and Thursday, Oct. 11, FBLA members are selling chocolate cookies with pink candy-coated pieces for 50 cents each, and pink bracelets for $1 each.

The FBLA chapter sells chocolate chip cookies yearlong to support club activities. But this two-day special fundraiser is part of a program by Otis Spunkmeyer, the chapter’s cookie dough supplier, to support the National *** Cancer Foundation.

“It makes me feel like I’m doing my part,” said Taryn, who is co-chairing the fundraiser with fellow junior Ellisse Goss.

When the company asked business teacher Wendy Dorval, the chapter’s adviser, if the club wanted to get involved in its pink cookies fundraising program, she took the idea to the students.

She was pleasantly surprised when they embraced it.

“I thought the club wouldn’t be interested,” Dorval said. “It’s an older person’s issue and these are teenagers. In reality, they are all affected because of their extended families.”

Like Catherine Byron, an 18-year-old senior, whose grandmother has Breast Cancer and whose former color guard coach was diagnosed with it, too.

And freshman Frank Santangelo, 14, whose mother was diagnosed last year. She went through chemotherapy, temporarily lost her hair and is now cancer-free, he said.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The students are selling their goods at tables covered with pink table covers. Cookies are served on pink napkins.

“I’m hoping people will think pink and know this is serious,” Byron said.

The bracelets each feature one of four inspirational words: Faith. Hope. Strength. Survivor.

Students who purchase a cookie or bracelet receive a free pink ribbon.

Walk for a Cure!
Today was the Susan G. Komen 5K Race/Walk. It was an absolutely gorgeous day and the walk was my first ever. We walked as the "Trans National Titans" as a corporate team and there were 14 of us all together. It was a very touching and moving morning. When we went to pick up our numbers and the woman asked me how many years I had been a survivor, I welled up and could barely keep from tearing up when I said "Not even 1". I knew it was going to be a tough day. But it was an inspiring one to say the least.

I am so grateful to everyone who donated and my teammates who walked with me: Jeff, Frankie, Alyssa, Marcy (my co-captain and survivor), Alyssa, Darcy, Hannah, Vikas, John, Betty, Lauren, Kay and Frances.

I can't wait until next year to keep growing our team and our donations to HELP FIND A CURE!!!!!!!!!!!!


THINK PINK!!

Hair check

Can't believe how fast my hair is coming in - for those of you who remember my old hair, you probably don't find it hard to believe, actually!

We spend just about every Labor Day weekend up at a YMCA family camp in New Hampshire on Sandy Island in Lake Winnepesaukee. I thought I would post a few pics from the weekend. This year ne of my good gal pal's from high school came up with her husband and kids. We had a great time!

Lyssa's Sweet 16

Lyssa's Auntie Renee and I took her and 5 of her friends into Boston and stayed over night at the Fairmont Copley Plaza and had a really nice time. Here are a few pics. Check out my hair! WOW - it's coming in like crazy!

Feeling like a million bucks!!

I haven't updated in quite a while so I thought I would throw something up here, in case there are some people still checking it out! If so, thank you!

I've heard that friends and family members have passed my blog on to others that have just recently been diagnosed with BC. I am flattered and honored that they felt this blog would help in their journey like it did for mine.

Anyway - here's what's been happening:

I've been back to work full time since May 2nd. I go into Boston 2 days a week and I work from home the other 3. It's a fantastic schedule since now that I have so many appointments up here in NH, I can run out at lunch or first thing in the morning. Also, I get sooo much more work done from home. I love it! I am so lucky.

I've already traveled twice - once to Aruba on a short business trip and we just got back from
a much needed family vacation to Aruba the first week of July. We had a really great time!

Lyssa got a job at Dunkin Donuts here in town. She started today. Drivers Ed begins on Friday and before we know it, she'll be driving! Yikes.

Frankie's hanging out in camp in town this summer. He loves it and it keeps him completely busy and out of my hair (no pun intended)

Speaking of hair, my hair is growing so fast! I cannot believe how every week it looks thicker and it's getting longer. Well, not long, but you get it. Here I am with Lyssa in Aruba.


Jeff just spent a week out in Colorado for business. He got to hook up with an old high school friend so that was nice. Needless to say, he was happy to be home in his own bed after 2 weeks of back to back travels!

I joined a gym this week and started exercising to lose my chemo weight! I know I've dropped some naturally just from getting all those steroids and other disgusting chemicals out of my body. I need to really get in shape so I feel healthy and am healthy!

I had a bone scan today just to be on the safe side. I've not had any type of tests all throughout chemotherapy. I hated having to go but now that it is over, I can just sit back and wait to hear from my doctor. I feel so good, that I know there won't be anything there! It's just good to have I guess.

Ok, enough blabbering! Thanks to everyone that still follows my blog. I appreciate all the support that I have gotten from all of you over the past 9 months!

xoxo
Tracy

Close friends and family are the most important thing a person can have!

We had a great little gathering of some of our closest friends from High School yesterday. I cannot believe that so much time has passed since we graduated in 1983. Next year we'll have our 25th reunion! We're so blessed that we have stayed in touch and manage to get together as often as we do. Granted we make more plans than actually materialize, but that's par for the course in anyone's busy lives! We're very lucky to have each other!

This is the first and only picture that I have ever posted of myself since chemo took my hair. As you can see, it is growing back pretty fast considering it has been 2 months to the day that I completed my treatments. My friend Kim's 5 year old daughter "petted" my head all weekend. She loved the way it felt so soft.

Chemo Closure!
It's out! I got my port removed on Friday and it feels great. That was the final step for me to put the past 4 months of chemotherapy behind me. The procedure was really quick. We had to be at the hospital for 8:15am for a surgery at 10:15am. It's crazy how they make you get there so early for a 15 minute procedure. We bumped into my doctor right before and she told us that she had another one just before me and that she would be done in no time. She was right. She got me in and out of there in record time. She is amazing. They gave me so much anesthesia that I was out cold for most of the day. Seemed a bit overkill but I did tell the anesthesiologist that I didn't want to see anything, hear anything or know anything that was going on. I think he listened! Dr. Ponn told Jeff afterwards that she had the TV on for me in the OR. Pretty odd since I was completely out. Well, it's over now. I can put that chapter behind me. I will say that god forbid you or anyone you know has to go through what I did, the port is the way to go. I was deathly afraid at first from the thought of having something foreign inside my body that didn't belong there. I did get used to it and not having my veins all messed up from the chemo made the port a really great decision! Chia Pet! That's just what I look like these days! My hair is really starting to come in. It's so funny how all of a sudden it just appeared. At first it looked like it was coming in really light, but it has since darkened up and has been joined by some serious gray hairs. Oh well. I knew that was coming! I had them before so after this ordeal, and raising a 13 and 15 year old, I knew the gray would take over soon! In my estimation, I should have my big 'ole head of hair back by 2017 :) Until then, I will enjoy the hot summer with my chia head!

3 weeks post chemo and FEELING FANTASTIC!

Jeff and I went to my oncologist today for my post chemo check up. My doctor was amazed at how fast I have bounced back from my treatments. My counts are looking great and he gave me the ok to get my port removed! That has to be one of the best things I have heard all year! Of course, in the car on my way home I called to set up an appointment for the surgery. I am going in next Friday at 830am to say goodbye to my port for good!

Prom Night for Alyssa
I thought I would post a couple of pictures of Alyssa and her friend Ben from before they left for the prom tonight. She looked gorgeous thanks to my sister Stephanie who, despite the fact that she had a hernia surgery a little over a week ago, did both her hair and makeup. She did a fantastic job!

Getting back to a routine

It's been 2 weeks today since my last and final treatment. I got through it pretty well but I'm still feeling those last lingering side effects. I started back to work full time last week. I am only driving into the office in Boston twice a week and the other days I am working from "the New Hampshire office". I am so lucky to be able to do this. My company has been so incredible to me while I have been out. I could never have gone back to work full strength if not for this flexible schedule. I am so happy to be back to work. It's exhausting, even just going in 2 days a week but I will get used to it.

Frankie left on Tuesday for his 8th grade trip to Washington DC. We've heard very little from him. They have them on such a crazy busy schedule so we usually get the 10pm call when they are just getting ready to tape the doors! ha

Lyssa is going to her first prom tomorrow night. She is going with a friend who's a senior. We've been really busy with that lately. I cannot wait to see them all tomorrow night! I still cannot believe that I have a daughter in high school. Next year it will be her junior prom. Next year Frankie will be a freshman!

Well, I am off. I just thought I would post an update. I'm kind of in a interim state until I see my oncologist again to hear what my next steps are. I'm quite sure the hard stuff is over. Now if they can only find a cure for the hot flashes that I am experiencing!

I did it!!!!
This is what the pin says that I was given by the nurses today when I finished my last of 8 chemo treatments! I got hugs from every oncology nurse in the place when we left. They even hugged Jeff and told him what a fantastic support person he has been for me. They sure got that right. I couldn't have done it without him by my side! He's a gift from god!!

A complete wave of emotion came over me this morning when I walked into the building. Tears instantly welled up in my eyes. I was so excited to have my last treatment, but it was so incredibly emotional. I cried a lot today but I made it. I got through 8 agonizing treatments and all the horrible side effects that go along with it. I feel stronger, and more educated, and I'm ready to help educate anyone that isn't aware of how easy and important it is to get a mammogram. It's the first step in detecting early stage cancer. Breast cancer invades the lives of 1 in 8 women. Think about that the next time you go out for dinner or drinks with a bunch of girlfriends. Look around, one of you may be that 1 in 8 in your group of friends. I am not trying to scare anyone, I am simply trying to say that I never thought I would be the 1 in 8 in my various groups of friends. It stinks. I was diagnosed with early Stage II invasive cancer in both of my breasts. We were trying to get pregnant and instead, I got cancer. I skipped my bi-annual mammogram the year before last because as some of you know, we lost a baby at 19 weeks. That was the same month that I should have had my mammogram. Maybe I had cancer then, who knows. But I do know how lucky I was to have picked up on this when I did. I made it through, and I hope and pray that I am now cancer free. I don't really know. But I will move on with my life and think positively that the chemo kicked it's butt!

Ready to go back to work!

I know it sounds funny to some, but I cannot wait to get back to the office and get back to my regular routine. I love it and miss it. I have been in the travel industry for almost 24 years. I started out when I was 17 years old and I never turned back! I consider myself very lucky that I picked a profession, learned it, stuck with it, and love what I do! I've been working 2 days from home for a while now, but I miss the office. I work with a great bunch of people and I can't wait to get back. I told a co-worker today to get ready, cuz I am coming back with a renewed sense of enthusiasm and I am ready to go!

I am so glad that I was able to take the time I needed to get through this ordeal and be able to concentrate on my health. I was telling someone today how in a strange way I actually enjoyed the time at home. Even though half of each month was in bed and dealing with disgusting side effects, I was able to spend more time with my kids and my other family members which I loved. I actually formed a really neat bond with my youngest niece.

Casey is only 2 years old, and up until my surgery, she really didn't know me. Since then, my sister Stephanie, who lives only 20 minutes away from where we moved in NH, visits regularly with Casey while my nephew Cameron is in school. It's been so cool to see them both so often, but especially Casey because we really got to know each other. This morning she came over and wore one of my hats around the house. She came in with her pink Red Sox hat on and then proceeded to try on a couple of my hats and wear them around. She calls me Auntie now, and she has her ritual of coming in and going straight to the cabinets looking for something she knows she probably can't have at home. Then she grabs her favorite blanket, a prayer shawl that my mother in law gave me, and she drags it around the house. It's been so fun watching her grow and I love to hear all her new words and watching her mannerisms. She is adorable.



I've had a ton of time in the past 5 1/2 months to really think about a lot of things. One thing I know for sure is that I am incredibly lucky to have the life I do. I thank my lucky stars every day!

7 Down, 1 to go!!!

Well, I am getting close to the end of my treatments. It seems so surreal still. This entire thing. I cannot believe that I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I cannot believe that I have had a bilateral mastectomy and have implants where my own, god given flesh and tissue used to be, and I cannot believe that I have spent the last 4 months of my life going through chemotherapy and I cannot believe that my big ole head of hair is gone! It is truly unbelievable. But throughout it all, I have remained positive, as cheery as possible, and try to be as much of a role model for anyone going through what I am. This has changed me as a person, and my objective now, is to help educate women of all ages that Breast Cancer invades the lives of 1 in 7 so we have to be aware of how we can stay ahead of it. I realize that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but in my life, it is every day of every month! Let's all try to help eradicate this disease by doing all we can to help find a cure! Feel free to donate right here on my blog's home page. It's easy. All you have to do is click on the donate button on the charity badge here on the left hand side of my blog!

Well, I go for my Nuelasta shot tomorrow, and then that is when all the bone pain starts setting in. So, there'll be no update while I handle the side effects which are rough. I'll be back as soon as I can!

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend and the snow misses us!!!!

THINK PINK
Tracy

Happy Easter!

We had a great day today, actually, we had a great weekend. My brother Andy, my sis in law Patty and my niece Taylor all spent the weekend. It wasn't planned that way, in fact we were all supposed to spend Easter at their house today. That was until Mother Nature decided to dump a ton of snow on us last week! They live in Maine and had no power for 3 days so they came Friday morning and spent the weekend with us, it was nice to have them here! I loved having the company since I spend so many days alone at home. Every time I turned around my sister in law was cleaning something! And, this morning, she and my brother put together a couple of bookshelves that I had ordered weeks ago for my office. It was great since I don't have the strength to do that kind of thing yet and Jeff absolutely hates assembling things. So, he cooked while they assembled. It was perfect and I finally have a place in my office for all the books in the house! Thanks Andy and Patty :)

I had a pretty strange day on Friday, I felt so tired and lightheaded...probably just the fatigue hitting me from this Taxol. My hands and feet have been getting progressively worse as the days go on. The numbness, itching and tingling in my palms, fingers and feet is really ticking me off. I have to say, it's getting annoying and there is nothing I can do to make it stop!

Today I felt a really sharp pain just jolt from my port through my chest. It made me stop dead in my tracks. It's never done that before. Oddly enough, during the week leading up to my treatment, my port always starts to hurt a little bit, like it's screaming to be used. Well, it can scream all it wants to, this is the 2nd to last time it'll be used! I cannot believe that after Thursday, I will have only 1 treatment left to go. I cannot wait to get this over with and get my port removed and try to move on.

Ok, now I am just rambling.....I could go on and on, but I won't bore you all to tears....I just thought I would add and update since my posts are fewer and far between these days.

I hope everyone enjoyed their day and I hope the Easter Bunny was good to you all!

6 Down, 2 to go!!!

Well, I did it, I managed to get through another treatment. This time I was smarter than the chemo and I actually planned out my pain management strategy and it paid off. I started taking my heavy duty pain pills on Friday morning prior to my nuelasta shot and it's side effects. Then I just stayed in front of the pain all weekend and it actually helped. I was totally drugged the entire time, but whatever it takes! Today is Tuesday and I am just dealing with lingering hip, leg and arm pain along with my new side effect: numbness and tingling in both of my hands. It started today out of nowhere. My palms have been really itchy (I doubt I'll be coming into money) and all of a sudden, they got really numb and they tingle. It is the strangest feeling but it doesn't hurt so I can live with it I think.

So, I can do it, I can make it through my last 2 treatments! Now I know how to handle this awful pain, I am not as scared anymore. I will do it, and I will be done on April 26th!!!

Taxol #2 today

My appointment isn't until 10:30 but I am so full of anxiety, I couldn't sleep.

Not sure why I am so nervous, today and tomorrow are the "easy" days with just the infusion and a couple of shots. The real fun stuff kicks in late Friday night and will last several days.

I've had a great week as far as feeling stronger and having a bit more energy than I have had in the past. My joints and bones are achy, but nothing I can't handle. I'll take it.

I'll post my update from this treatment when I can.....I'm hoping I'll have good news to share!

Think Pink!

Finally back to real life - well kinda

The good news is that I have had -zero- nausea!!

The bad news is that I just spent the last 6 days experiencing some of the most agonizing pain I have ever felt in my life. Let me put this into perspective for you - I gave birth to 2 children with no pain medication whatsoever. Trust me, I know what pain is. This was hell.

I won't get into it, but let's just say that I am exhausted from hurting, exhausted from the fatigue and just plain exhausted ! Sure, I only have 3 more treatments and that is fantastic to see light at the end of the tunnel, but, I am honestly having a hard time with the thought of having to do this again. I really need to stay positive in order to get through this. I cannot imagine that this poison has not killed whatever cancer cells that I may have had left in my body. That I do believe.

Treatment #5

Well, the party was over for me yesterday. My chemo break (because of a root canal) was now over. I have to say that the break did me a world of good. I felt almost like my old self, just not as strong and not as much energy as normal. I was able to hit most of a Celtics game, spend a day in the office, and spend the night in Boston with my best friend from Bermuda. It all gave me the strength and drive to get back into this thing and get it done!!!

I didn't sleep very well the night before my treatment due to the fact that I was starting a new drug and it had been so long since my last one. I did really well. The taxol takes about 3 hours to infuse and because of all the pre-meds that they give prior to that, I basically slept the entire time. Once I got home, I proceeded to sleep the rest of the day away until about 730pm. Needless to say, I was up half the night!

So far so good as far as nausea is concerned. My stomach doesn't have that incredible toxic feeling that I had right after infusion with the AC. I get my Nuelasta and Procrid shots today for my white and red cells. Once I get those, I basically brace myself for the obscene pain associated with the Nuelasta as well as the side effects of the Taxol itself. I'm ready. I just go into my "chemo coma" until it's over...

But, I only have to do this 3 more times then I am all done!!!! My onco nurse told me that it will take me about 4-6 weeks to get my stamina and energy level back once I am all through with the chemo.

So one year out of my life in order to have a life! I can handle that!

Think Pink~

Thank you to all my TNT and Garber friends!

I just wanted to send out a personal thank you to all my colleagues and former colleagues for all the kind emails, cards, gifts, and the ongoing support as I continue with my recovery! It means a great deal to me that I have such a strong support system, not only from my family and close friends, but from all of you who have followed me down this road! I am truly blessed. One of my kids said to my husband, "Wow, I had no idea that mom had so many friends!" I'm a very lucky girl!!!

Hat Party Pics

I promised some pics but I just haven't had the strength or the time to post them. Here's a glimpse of what the day was like. It was great!

Chemobrain - It really is REAL!

I know that I have blamed my memory loss or loss for words in the middle of a sentence, to many of my family, friends and co-workers, on something called chemobrain. Well, I want you to know that I didn't make it up. It really does exist and I was not a believer until it started happening to me. I thought I would share with you what one person describes it to be:

"Patients who receive treatment for cancer often experience a range of side-effects, including loss of concentration, memory problems, and the inability to organize daily activities—commonly referred to as chemobrain."

See, I'm not really just "losing it", I will eventually get my crisp, clear, brain back as soon as I have completed chemo.

Which brings me to my second reason for posting.....I've had a very slight bump in the road, and I have to postpone my chemo treatments so I can deal with an awful dental issue. Instead of having chemo tomorrow, I will be enjoying myself at the dentist, getting a root canal. Ick.

But, the good news is, I should still be able to keep my next appt. on March 15th which will only set me back 2 weeks. I can live with that. But I cannot live with the pain that I have been for over 2 weeks.

Finally able to post!

I have had a really hard time even thinking about posting on this blog. It's so hard to even think about cancer and chemo treatments these days without getting nauseous! Every time I go online and see any kind of cancer drug ad or anything related, I get so sick to my stomach. My body is just so loaded with toxins now that the mere association makes me ill.

This last treatment really got me, worse than #3. Everything that my Oncologist told me at my very first appointment is all really making sense to me. Like clockwork, my body is giving in to the cumulative treatments. I was told to watch out from #3 and #4. It took me a week to come back from #3 and #4 was worse. I tried so hard to do that mind over matter thing this past week but it just didn't work. Once I realized that, then I really gave in and listened to my body. I finally did what I was supposed to do and that was to give in to my pain, my fatigue and my inability to do much more than lie in bed.

I started working 2 days from home last week and I had to do it in my pj's in my bed. But ya know what? I got things done and boy did it wear me out! One day I took at 3 hour nap and the next was 4 1/2 hours. I guess I just didn't realize how little energy I have and I try to push it. That's just me. I've always pushed the envelope when it comes to myself and my health. But, being a Mom, a wife and working full time doesn't allow you to worry about yourself. I'm sure there are lots of Mom's who can relate. I can tell you that after living with this illness for 4 months now, from now on I will listen to my body and take care of me! We only get one shot at life so we have to live it feeling GOOD!

Major Milestone!!!!

Yesterday marked my half way point for treatments! It seems to good to be true that I have already been through 3 1/2 months of surgeries, numerous appts, and now I am half way through my chemotherapy. I start a new medication on March 1 and I finish April 12th if all goes as well as it has. Meaning, my counts have all been great, I've managed to stay healthy (outside of the horrendous side effects of chemo) and I haven't had to miss one treatment! I am just cruising through but not without feeling the effects, as you all know.
Yesterday while we were at treatment, there was a lot of loud clapping and cheers and I quickly realized it was for the people that were completing their treatments! Good for them. I'm sure it was an incredible feeling for them. I had the same incredible feeling walking out of there knowing that I was half way there!!
My doctor was very good to me at this visit. He was very concerned and not pleased with the amount of pain that I endure every treatment after my Nuelasta shot. He increased my pain meds and made it quite clear that I am to take them, period. I have a hard time taking a lot of
pain pills. But, if it means salvaging a little bit of my 3 days following treatment, then I suppose I'll give it a shot.

Round 3 was pretty rough on me!

It's been a week since I have been able to post. This round really knocked me down for a while. I experienced the agonizing pain from the Nuelasta shot again . That gets me from Friday night until sometime Monday. I literally cannot move, my body hurts so much. I don't think there were any side effects from the Procrid shot to boost my red blood counts, thank goodness!

There was a mix up at the pharmacy and my precious anti-nausea pills got a bit messed up so I paid for that dearly. I have been incredibly nauseous since last Friday. I did have an ok day yesterday and so far today, I am just really exhausted with just a little nausea.

Jeff was away on business for a couple days this week. What a long 2 days! I missed him alot. My friend Kim came and played nursemaid with her 4 year old, that was sweet and so appreciated. My mother came up Tuesday to do the same. She even stayed over with me which was really sweet. My kids are a great help to me, when they are home. Frankie did pass on a basketball practice to stay with me. What a sweet son. Alyssa has been great too. We've been able to spend a little bonding time together when she gets home from practice and climbs in bed with me! At 15, I should be very grateful that she still does that occasionally.

Anyway....I will be posting a couple "choice" pics from the hat party....what a great day!

Stay tuned....

#3 down! Only one more AC and then I start the 4 Taxol. I can see
the light at the end of the tunnel!

Jeff snapped a pic today from my camera phone of me relaxing as I got
my infusion. Not the best quality, but at least you can see how relaxed I am! It's not where I would rather be, but at least it is doable.

I found out that my red blood counts are low and I'm anemic. So, they added a new shot to boost my red counts and I also have to take more vitamins that include D and Calcium for my bones. I'll lift my counts come hell or high water. I am NOT getting a transfusion, thank you very much.

I'm feeling very tired, weak and very out of it from all the meds so I am off for a nap.

Hats, Hats, and more Hats!!! (among other wonderful things)

My sister in law and sister threw me the best Hat party on Sunday. My house was transformed into a pink palace with pink ribbons and balloons and flowers everywhere!

There were about 35 or so women here (with a couple men for good measure) and we had good food, wine (not me), an incredible chocolate fountain, laughs and a TON of hats. It was a riot. I really didn't plan on unveiling my head to a room full but I got caught up in the moment and realized that the house full of women were among the most important people in my life and my biggest supporters! So, off (fell) my scarf and I did it. I donned my bald head for all to see. It was kind of liberating, although I could never walk around like that! It was fun though, as I was then able to try on some of the hats as I opened them. I hope to have some pics to post. Some of these hats were something else!

Among the hats, I was given some beautiful jewelry, cozy pj's, scarfs and lots of other nice things. It was really a special day for me and my sister in law, Patty deserves big kudos for the time and effort she put into this. When I tell you she went above and beyond, I mean it. Hot gluing pink ribbons and pearls on toothpicks? Oh yeah, she went all out! :) Love you, Patty.

And of course a huge thank you to my sister Steph and C-Lou, Pam, Taylor, my mom, mother in law and sister in law and everyone else who contributed to the planning!

I have the best family and friends, THIS is what gets me through.

And I was supposed to be feeling better this week....

With my treatment being last Thursday, I really thought that by my usual Monday/Tuesday after chemo, I'd start to really feel better. Funny thing, my only day that I haven't experienced some nausea was Wednesday. I honestly have been taking my anti-nausea pills around the clock to provide some relief. The odd thing is that my appetite hasn't been spared at all. Now I know why they say that people normally gain weight rather than lose. Great. No hair, feel like crap constantly, and yeah, I get to put on a few pounds! Well, I did just get the word that I can do a form of low impact exercise. They say that most woman get through the chemo better with some form of regular exercise. I'd like to think that I could get into that. I just don't know if I do it between the excruciating bone pain or the disgusting nausea. I'll have to plan that one out.

Sorry for the unbelievable sarcasm tonight but I just planned on taking a really quick shower and I ended up being held hostage by my hair falling out. It is unreal. Every time I touched my head, my hands were covered in hair. I came out and I can literally see my bald head now. What an incredibly bizarre feeling. I never in my life thought I would look like this, or be going through what I am. But, as usual, Jeff makes me feel terrific. He said that I have a nice small head and I look beautiful. Lord am I lucky to have such an incredible husband.

Ok, enough for tonight.

Just an update
Let's see, my hair is really coming out. I have a trick that I got from a breast cancer message board that has really come in handy. I bought a bunch of lint rollers (pink ribbon ones, can ya stand it?) and I actually roll it on my head. It is bizarre how much hair comes off each time I do this. It sure beats having my hair all over my pillow when I wake up. My oncologist thought that was a pretty neat tip so he plans to tell all his patients. Funny.

My head doesn't really hurt anymore, thank goodness, it just gets really cold! Especially at night. I have a hat and I pull it on and off all night as I go through my hot and cold spells. Jeff told me he woke up yesterday and my little, fuzzy, pink sleep hat was on his chest. I thought that was pretty funny. I look for anything to make me laugh these days! :)

I'm one week post chemo #2 and I feel pretty good. This one definitely got me but nothing that this Tough Warrier Princess can't handle!

Keep thinking Pink!

Spoke way too soon!

My first two days were so much better than my last treatment. The new anti nausea combo along with the hydration on Friday, really made a huge difference. Starting late Saturday morning though, I experienced something new that I am pretty sure I can compare to the pain of Chinese water torture. I'm just not sure if it was the side affects of the flu shot that I got or the side affects from the Nuelasta shot. It could have been a combination. All I know is that I have not experienced pain like this ever in my life. The slightest touch makes me want to jump out of my skin. The pain is unbearable. Pain killers help to dull the pain a bit, but the pain is still there in the background. I hope that's gone when I wake up in the morning. I cannot take much more of this.

On top of that, I learned that it does hurt when your hair falls out. That was something that I couldn't really get a straight answer about. Some people say that they didn't feel it, and some people say that it was very painful. I fell into the latter category. Luckily, my sister was able to come over today and shave my head. Wow was that an experience. She waited until noon because she said she felt better having a glass of wine to help her get through it. A supportive phone call from my brother and sister in law also helped her help me! I think she took it much harder than I did.

Well, it's done. My hair is gone and a bandanna covers the place where I had such a thick, head full of hair. Now we just wait until the rest falls out. I doubt it will take long. My head really hurts.

Off I go, it's time to root for the Pats!

Two Down - 6 to go!

I have to say that so far, I have come through treatment number 2 alot better than the first one.
I was able to change my anti nausea drugs to something alot more heavy duty, and along with another 3 anti nausea drugs that I take in conjunction, I've been saved from any major problems.

I also went back on Friday and had them administer a 2 hour hydration drip that also helped alot. I got my flu shot and my handy dandy Nulasta shot to rebuild my white blood cell count, and I was good to go!

Today I am very tired and my hair has just begun to start it's trip out of my head. I knew it was coming, but I can't say that it makes it any easier. Jeff woke me up at 1:30 this morning to take a pill and I felt the pain in my head and I knew. By the time I woke up at 7:30 and ran my hands through my hair, it was just coming out like I was emptying a hairbrush. Of course I cried. It caught me off guard even though my doctor told me 7-10 days and it's been well over that. I just thought that maybe with my big head of strong hair, that I somehow would be spared and end up in the medical books or something. No such luck.

I'm going to baby my head all day today and tomorrow my sister will come over and just shave it off. They say if you shave it, it will grow back easier and faster. I'm all for that.

Well, that's the latest report on me. Thanks to all of you that have continued to write, send cards, flowers and just keep wishing me well. It means so much to me to have such a strong support system! I'm a very lucky woman!

THINK PINK
Tracy

Attitude

There once was a woman who woke up one morning,
looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today!"
So she did
and
she
had
a
wonderful
day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror
and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

"H-M-M," she said,
"I think I'll part my hair down the middle today!"
So she did
and
she
had
a
grand
day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

"Well," she said,
"today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail."
So she did
and
she
had
a
fun,
fun
day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

"YEA!" she exclaimed,
"I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything.

Be kinder than necessary,
for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly..
Leave the rest to God

Day 5 post chemo....yuck

Within 3 hours of getting home, I started to enjoy the side effects that I have learned so much about. I have since spent the past 5 days with severe nausea, massive headaches from one of the anti-nausea drugs, bone pain from the Nuelasta shot that helps restore my white blood cells, and today I have just begun to experience the mouth sores that I tried so hard to stay away from. I was told that if I ate a popsicle or ice chips during the adriamycin push, that maybe I could prevent mouth sores. Maybe I helped ward them off a little longer but I certainly didn't escape them this time. Basically I have found it difficult to get my head off the pillow for most of the past 5 days.

I think I may have learned the trick with all of the pain meds, and anti-nausea drugs so next time, I can handle it better. I suppose the first time is always the worst because of the unknown. I know now, and I hope I change my strategy for next time.

I'll get there, one day at a time.

One down, only 7 to go!

I am thrilled with my port. It actually made the whole chemo process so much easier to bear.

Jeff and I got there at 10:45am and were home by 3:30pm. The treatment itself was a piece of cake, what came afterwards at home wasn't so much fun. Put it this way, I was calling myself the rookie yesterday and I guess I was given the "hazing" treatment for my first time in order to join the "club". I had the most miserable night of my life. Nausea and vomiting took over my Thursday "Office and Grey's Anatomy" night. Thank goodness for DVR!

Today I was able to keep some food down and slept most of the day. My sister came over and cut my hair really short, at the advice of my oncologist. He told me that it would be approximately 7-10 days until my hair fell out. I was thinking about starting a pool to see who could guess the day or the closest day to the actual event! Silly, I know but what can I say.

I had to go back to the doctor today in order to get my Neulasta shot which helps rebuild my white blood cells. This is necessary in order to keep up with the every 2 weeks treatment. I'll do whatever it takes to get through this faster!

Well, now that this one is under by belt, I just sit here waiting for the different side effects so I learn how to carry on with a semi normal life during treatments.

I'm just happy to have started the countdown so we can all get back to life B.C.